The Liebster

Thanks, Becky (the Hummingbird Hollow), for nominating me for the Liebster award!


Blushing.

I always love getting nominated for awards, especially since that last award I won before I started blogging was for singing in a talent show my freshman year of high school, and before that, an Albertson's coloring contest when I was ten (I believe the picture was Aladdin and Princess Jasmine on the magic carpet, and my prize was the greatest movie of all time: the Return of Jafar. Haven't seen it? Check it out. The compelling film will move you, I guarantee; a true masterpiece in cinema.).

"The Liebster Blog Award is designed to bring additional recognition to those bloggers with less than 200 followers. If you receive the award, you should link back to the blogger that nominated you and nominate five more blogs. Also, don’t forget to let them know that you nominated them."

How fun. In a way, it reminds me of those chain letters in high school, only a lot different.

Okay, so maybe they're not alike at all, but that's what I thought of. You know, back in the day when kids actually used real paper and pens to write notes. None of this texting hooey. 


I admit, I'm actually quite find of the texting hooey, since I absolutely loathe phone conversations.


Plus, in staying up until one o'clock in the morning and ruining my chance at a good day tomorrow participating in something fun, I get to showcase some really awesome chics with some really awesome blogs.  Here we go:

1. Becky, at the Hummingbird Hollow. Of course I had to start with Becky. Because she is amazing. If ever there was someone who cared about every soul and considered and respected every person's viewpoints and beliefs, it would be Becky. She is amazing in that way. Becky is a great friend, and though our beliefs on some things don't align, we have a mutual love and respect for each other. Because she makes it easy. She is an excellent photographer, and shows her work on her blog, as well as book reviews (she loves literature and reading and learning about everything there is to know) and fun, easy craft ideas. Go check her out!
2. Jen, at Runner Mom. Jen and I were made from the same mold. Seriously. When we first came across each other's blogs, it was like we were reading about ourselves (except for the fact that she's actually in shape and I'm sure has killer-smokin legs). She's my bloggy-sister (is that even a word?) and an amazingly great blogger--as in, she will always comment and always reply to your comments on her blog. She is a mom of four cutie-pie kids, a running addict, and so creative with words. If you like me, then you'll love her (I hope you like me. You're reading my blog, so you better.), so stop on by!
3. The Sarcasm Goddess, at For the Love of Writing. Because holy CRAP, can that girl make me laugh. Every single post. She's hilarious, says it like it is, and isn't sarcastic at all, ever. Her topics mostly consist of bacon, sausage, and other things I don't have the guts to blog about, like "bajingos" (They're cute, furry animals, Mom, that's all). But I'm sure she doesn't need this nomination, because she's quickly working her way up to 200 followers. So go make her even more popular.
4. Lori, at Immersion Blog-apy. Lori is a Christian woman and one of the greatest writers I've "known." I started reading her blog through a writing linky and became hooked on her fiction voice. So vivid and palpable. I was a follower right away. And then, as if her beautiful prose weren't enough, come to find out, Lori can write some killer poems (I'm jealous). She's so talented and works so well with words, that the lines just flow and you can feel the rhythm. Check out her work on her blog.
5. Mel, at Less Than Perfect. Mel is a wife, mommy, and pet-mommy, and is one of the most supportive bloggers I've "met." She mostly shares stories about her mommy-hood and day-to-day life, which always pull me in and always seem to relate. She's an excellent post writer, and can always infuse authenticity, humor, and even gravity, in all the right places. I've loved getting connected to her, so you should, too!

The Rant of a Perfectionist

First of all, I want to thank all the readers who commented on my previous post. I found your comments very helpful and fulfilling! I'm glad to know the piece sparks some interest. :)

Do you ever think back on an old project you've done and think, "That was pretty awesome?" So you decide, after months of hibernation, to wake it up, only to find it was nothing like you remember? In fact, it was so far off from what you remember that you find yourself wanting to burn it (from your own mind and anyone else's who might have had the privilege of reading it) and then crawl into a hole? Or that you are sick to your stomach--literally--over the way it just...well...sucks?

Or, worse, you feel this way from a more recent project--one you just recently thought was amazing and had really showcased just how far you've come?

Okay, maybe it's just a writer thing.

Or maybe it's just a bad self-conscious writer thing.

Yes, this post is a gripe session, so bear with me. Seems really fitting after the Sunshine Award I just got on Runner Mom Jen's blog, doesn't it? (Thanks again, Jen!)

I have come a long way as a writer, of that I am sure. Looking back at those old projects (and sometimes the new), all the imperfections scream at me from the pages laptop screen, and the perfectionist inside me can't rest until it's all fixed and perfect.

Only problem is, it'll never be perfect. Never ever.

And we are all our own worst critics. I am the inventor of being hard on yourself. I don't know how to not be. Even after fulfilling praise on my writing, I still only see the flaws. I compare myself to others, read other people's work and wistfully dream of being as good as they are. When instead I should be grateful for my own talent, proud of my voice.

And really, I am. I have really come to find my writing voice over this last year, and this blog has been a small factor in that. But I still want to advance, I always want to be better.  And I suppose that's a good thing, but how do I see those imperfections (sometimes pointed out by others) without letting it deflate that pride in my craft?

It's a never-ending battle, and something I will always be struggling with, I think. Maybe someday, when I can walk into Barnes & Noble and see my book on the shelf (crossing my fingers), that will go away.

Or maybe it will just get more intense.

Who knows. All I know is that each time I take a big step, like posting some of my work on my blog, or letting a friend read my MS, my confidence as a writers grows--because of how extremely nail-biting the process is. Heck, a year ago I was so private about my writing that even telling someone I was a writer made me nervous. I had another, more private, blog where I could rant about my writing frustrations and the process I was going through (querying, revising, etc.) in more of a non-public way.

Because I was scared. And I still am. But I am pushing through it.

And I really, truly, honestly abhor love and need constructive criticism, despite my fears. I mean it when I say I want to know the truth about my work. Because I am a perfectionist, and I need to know what others see wrong with it, so that I can decide if it is best for the piece to change it. Sometimes I do, and sometimes I don't.

Anyway, just struggling a little with my writing confidence, as I sometimes do. But don't worry (like anyone really is), it's nothing that won't go away with a little more self-assurance and settling-in-of-the-just-posting-something-publicly.

And toddler kisses. There's no room for negative thoughts when the cutest two-year-old has just given you kisses.