The Day Cliché Became Reality

*Post inspired by Mama Kat's writer's workshop prompt "Write a dramatic synopsis of a memorable day in your life, as if it was a movie or TV series." 


For extra kicks, imagine it being read in the voice of Don LaFontaine.

When Jennie Davenport walked into the church building on an early Sunday in September of 2002, she couldn't have guessed the way her life would change. Confident, uninterested, and somewhat rebellious, she looked like the last person who belonged there.

It was a ward for single adults--a place where young people paraded themselves in the never-ending and pressurized search to wed the first available object of the opposite sex came to cultivate their love of Christ and strengthen their testimony of the gospel. And though Jennie's eyes remained aloof and her chin was high, she came there craving just that: the spiritual feast she'd been missing out on for nearly two years.

With sweaty palms and tensed muscles, Jennie walked into the meat market church building--anxiety-ridden from being somewhere that used to feel like home.

"I can do this," she told herself.  "I need to do this."

Since returning to the prison comfort of her parents' home one week prior, venturing back to church was one of the things Jennie was looking forward to the most, and when her friend, Katie, convinced her to accompany her to the singles ward on that first Sunday--the first church-going Sunday in nearly two years--every stereotype from the popular Mormon movie, The Singles Ward, shot to the forefront of her mind, and she almost declined.

And almost threw up in her mouth a little, too.

After all, Jennie wasn't single, but was in a very unhealthy, co-dependent, recently turned long distance sound relationship.

But little did she know that she'd receive the very thing that 99% of the Mormon single adult population goes to the singles ward for--the only reason: the cliché gift of an eternal companion.

Not making eye contact with a single soul, she walked through the doors and straight to the emptiest pew, willing the mingling singles to sit and the meeting to start.

Then he came over. The first person to speak to her.

Geez, couldn't he give me at least five minutes to settle in?

"Hi," he said, beaming from ear to ear. He looked fresh on the market...like a newbie to normal society.

A return-missionary.

Every button of his olive-colored suit vest was nicely buttoned and a glow emanated off of him.

Ugh, that glow.

He took his hand out of his pocket, offering it politely. Somewhat reluctantly, Jennie took it. It was warm, nonthreatening, and...nice.

His eyes were nice, too. Blue and sincere.

"I'm Dave," he continued. "I just got home from my mission three weeks ago."

And...there it was. Jennie forced a smile. A return missionary was the last thing she needed in her life--spiritually bombarding, innocent, eager.

But then Jennie found out she and the RM had something in common. Dave had served his mission in Huntington Beach, California, in the very home ward Jennie had grown up in. They knew the same people, enjoyed the same smell of that old, white church building.

And despite her objections, she wondered if it was a sign.

Will Jennie dump her dangerous boyfriend and fall in love with this faithful, strapping man, leaving her rebellious life to the wayside?

And will this fresh return-missionary be persistent enough to win over a stubborn, struggling woman?

**Spoiler Alert**

He was. And he did.

Here I am. In a Nutshell.

My life is full of happiness, joys, blessings, and lots of great days. I'm aware that I have a great life and a wonderful family, and, really, when it all comes down to it, I have no reason to complain. I just want to point that out.

And get it out of the way.

Because due to some recent spikes in less-than-happy things in my life (one of our kittens dying tragically, to name just one), I’ve been kind of a buzz-kill the last few days.

I know, I know. I need to be positive and move on, despite the extra lack of sleep (Luke is teething and back to not taking good naps or sleeping well at night. Nor letting me put him down without that trademarked high-pitched screaming that says, “How dare you think you can actually get anything done around here?!”).

And, despite the few--okay, lots more than a few--extra pounds I’ve been wallowing about lately. No more using the excuse that I "just had a baby." What happened to the whole claim that nursing moms lose weight faster?

To me it’s looking like a fairy tale, ladies. And I can only use the elliptical for so long before I realize my kids are destroying things while in the absence of my attention. So throw me a frickin’ bone here [insert whoever I feel like directing this at] and at least let me get back to my pre-baby-growing size.

Okay, moving on from that. In light of my loss of vigor and optimism, I feel like making a list of some things that make me me (some inspired by recent events and others at random placement). Good, bad, embarrassing--I don’t care. I am who I am, and on most days, I actually like that.

So, just in case you ever get quizzed...

• If I actually let myself, I could probably eat a whole cake in one sitting. Beyond any food, even chocolate, cake is my downfall.
• I still mourn my Dyson and have a little buyer's remorse for my Kirby.
• The romantic fluff is my favorite substance in movies and books. If there isn't any, the rest of the content better be damn good.
• I swear sometimes. Okay, more than sometimes. But--to all you gasping for the innocent ears of my children--I do watch myself around my kiddos. And church members.
• The judgement, naivety, and close-mindedness from church members is the highest pet peeve on my list of pet peeves.
• The whole mumbo-jumbo of religion and doctrine in general, and who's right and wrong--even in my own religion--is really tiring me out.
• Pictures of posey teenage girls taken by themselves are high on the pet peeve list, too. Maybe even #2. Especially ones with the crooked pout and the sideways peace gesture.
  
  
  
• Doctors are climbing really high on my hit list right now. All except my kiddos' pediatrician, who I found after a rigorous search and is wonderful. As far as I'm concerned, besides her, there aren't any left with good hearts in this world, who truly care about the patient and figuring out what's wrong with them. Since when does someone whose services we pay out of our butt for feel they have the right to treat us like we're wasting their time??
  
  
  
• I hate corned beef. I only eat it on the special occasion that we make it because it's my husband's favorite food. There's nothing right about it.
  
  
  
• Dora the Explorer is the bane of my existence.
• I am horrible at anything crafty. I don't sew. I don't have a nack for home decor, and am basically clueless when it comes to knowing whether or not something looks good. And I'm only a decent cook. So, basically, I fail at the Susy Homemaker test.
• My passion involves a laptop and solitude, and sometimes, I admit, that writing is all I want to be doing.
• At this given moment in my life, if I was given the opportunity to spend twenty-four hours doing whatever I wanted, I'd go to a hotel completely and utterly alone, and write.
• I want other people to read what I have labored over. Regardless of whether or not I'm good enough, I want to be known for writing--and maybe even make a little dough on the side.
• Grammar mishaps really bother me. Like, a lot. Irregardless is not a real word, people.
• Sometimes my kiddos still see me naked. And that's not good, since Sam is almost four. But that's what happens when you have three small children, a busy husband, and you are shower-deprived. Sometimes, it's unavoidable. So sue me.
• I nurse in front of my kids because I want them to be accepting of it. It irks me when mothers are so hush-hush about breastfeeding and don't even speak of it. It's not a sexual thing, ladies, no matter how much society wants it to be. It's a beautiful thing and a God-given way to feed and nourish our babies.
• Though I know it's not (do I really?), sometimes I feel like praying is a waste of time.
• Next to losing a child, my biggest fear is my children losing their father, or me, and having someone else raise them.
• I Hate bugs. Hate with a capitol H. And one of the biggest offenders are moths. There, I said it. I'm "afraid" of moths. And crane flies.
  
  
  
• If asked, I'd say the Book of Mormon is my favorite book, because it is, yet I haven't really read it in almost four years.
• I love dry humor. I love anything comedic.
• I'm addicted to late night comedy/talk shows and DVR some of them regularly. Conan is my guilty pleasure.
  
  
  
• I'm socially awkward sometimes. And physically awkward all the time.
• I have the worst temper in the world, thanks in part to the genes of my father. It almost prevented my husband from marrying me. And now I see it in my kids. Uh-oh.
• The best sound to my ears isn't rain or waves or anything emo like that. It's the word "Mommy" on my two-year-old's lips.
• I truly feel that with all of these things aside, my children are my greatest blessing in life. They are the best part of me, an extension of who I am--my flesh and blood. And my life would be nothing without them. Poop, screaming, annoyances and all.

Reunited and it feels so good...

I decided I was going to get back into the routine of blogging again like I used to, not just updating bits here and there with months in between. And I figured the first step is to redo my layout and update everything else on my page that hasn't been updated in a year! Yes, I know it's early for Halloween layouts, but I love Halloween and I love Fall and I didn't have the patience to wait! Besides, the black kitty on the layout looks like the new addition to our family, Bauer. I put a picture of her on this post (it's not great, but it's the best I got at this point), because I thought it was fitting with my new layout. :)

I have to admit that part of the reason I feel the desire to spend time on my blog today is that Dave took the boys to Prescott and left me alone for the first time in FOREVER (or it feels like forever...really it's just been many months). WOO HOO! I have to say that since I never get to be at home alone, I am loving the peace, quiet, and solitude. I got to take a shower and actually get ready afterward without kids getting into all the bathroom stuff and feeling rushed, I got to prepare my lesson for church tomorrow without ANY INTERRUPTIONS, and I get to sit here and play on the computer. I thought I'd use this alone time to write or work on my query letter, but I just didn't feel like it, which is surprising.

I realized too that in my blogging absence, I haven't posted anything about my pregnancy at all! So here's a rundown: I am 21 weeks along and we found out 2 weeks ago that we are having our THIRD BOY (Due 1/11/11)! And wow...I'm not going to lie; I was holding out for that girl that I know is out there somewhere, and I was definitely a little disappointed. It's hard to explain, because I wasn't sad about the boy, or depressed by any means...I was happy about it, but at the same time disappointed, if that makes any sense. But I am really excited to have another little guy because I love my boys so much, and though I will be even more out-numbered than now (4 against 1), I have to admit I love that. I actually will love being the only chic...for now. And I love that my boys can be the Three Amigos and be close. Another big plus is that we already have all the boy stuff (even though I was looking forward to buying all the girlie stuff...)! So, yes I know there is a girl out there and I will get her some day, but right now I am so excited to meet this little guy!

He moves like CRAZY. I swear, he never stops. He moves more than either Sam or Josh moved, and I thought Sam moved a lot! My pregnancy is going well, considering. I do have pretty horrible back issues that flare up at the end of my pregnancies and, unfortunately, already started flaring up halfway through with this one. I have many other issues of pain down there, and even experience contractions quite often already, too, but really, other than being stiff and miserable most of the time (I say most because I'm trying to be positive...hehe), it's going extremely well and I can only feel blessed. So far, everything is going the way it's supposed to and everything is at the right size and in the right place. I'm just excited to get this little guy out of me and start the addition to our family!

A thing I struggle with, especially lately for some reason (probably those darned pregnancy hormones) is self-esteem because of what pregnancy does to your body...and I feel like it's just torn me apart and left me with a distorted body and flabby...well...everything. But I've been really trying to place all the expectations of society and the media aside and accept that having a baby has actually made me more beautiful. I have given live to three of God's children and what is more beautiful than that?

I tell you that nothing is. I feel so privileged and special to be blessed with these wonderful spirits and to have been able to nurture them and bond with them, that I wouldn't trade the best body in the world for this. After all, this is why we are on this earth as women, right--to bear God's children. And what a blessing it is! I don't take it for granted at all...

Not even when I'm laying lifeless on the couch because I can't move as the kids trash the house around me. It's all about sacrifice, right? My kids better thank me some day for all I go through to bring them into the world... ;)

There have been a lot of things going on around us, a lot of unfortunate circumstances with friends, or health problems with friends and family that really have us looking at life differently, and it's hard not to get down. It's hard not to ever think, "I'm done having kids after this, because why would I want to bring children into this unforgiving world???" But unfortunately, this is life, and though I question with "why does this happen to this person" a lot, there is nothing we can do about it and we will never have all the answers. All we can do is get through this life like intended, prove ourselves and strive for faith--which at a lot of times feels non-existent, I admit.

But even in all these things happening around us and to us, and through all the wavering, I do love my Heavenly Father and this gospel, and am so appreciative to Him and our Savior. I don't get it sometimes, I don't have answers, but I do have to strive to have faith and know that He is at the helm--no matter how bleak. I am SO extremely blessed, and I pray I will never lose sight of that. I have the most wonderful husband and children I could have ever asked for, a family I never before thought I deserved. We are healthy and well (for the most part) and provided for in so many ways. I am grateful everyday for the blessings we have and how fortunate we really are.

And to anyone who I might have been cold to or offended at all, I am truly sorry. I'm not always the best kind of friend and don't always have the best things to say (or even know what to say in general sometimes), but I do love you all and you each have made an impact on my life that I will never forget.

He Is Risen!

Happy Easter everyone! So far, it's been a pretty great weekend. I am grateful for my DVR, because if it wasn't for that, I wouldn't have been able to watch conference much at all, but I've been able to watch every talk. Listening is another story. It's hard to pay complete attention when you have little ones begging for it constantly. But I have loved hearing conference this weekend. I love when Easter falls on conference weekend. The last time I remember this happening was when I was a kid and I have very fond memories of us all lounging in our pajamas and eating Easter candy while we watched conference. Actually, I think it was the same year mom decided to try all sugar-free candy. Needless to say, there was a lot of trips to the bathroom that weekend.

Anyway, this morning Sam was VERY excited to get his Easter toys and Easter candy from the Easter Bunny. We just got the boys a few little cheap toys and then had a mini Easter egg hunt in our backyard. Sam LOVED it and was getting so excited, but Josh wasn't too thrilled. He still doesn't like being on the grass, so he just stood there and sucked on an egg while Sam found them all. I have been trying to remind Sam all day what the real reason for Easter is, and that Jesus was resurrected on this day, but I think all that's going through his mind is money and candy.

Oh, we also had eggs filled with money. He loved that almost more than the candy I think. He loves putting money in his piggy bank.

Then between sessions, Dave and I went shooting with Wes and Mandy Schultz (great way to celebrate Easter, right??) while their daughter, Naomi, watched our kiddos. It was fun, but it just made me realize how much work I still need. Practice, practice, practice.

In about an hour we are going to have Easter dinner with the Schultz's, and if it wasn't for them, we'd be warming up leftovers for dinner tonight.

This last week we had the New Beginnings program in Young Womens and it went well, considering how little time we had to plan it. It was rusty in parts, but the girls really benefited from it, I feel, and that is the most important thing. I really love our girls and love my calling and as they were singing their musical number, I was just overcome with the spirit at how special they are and I realized how much love I have for them. It was so spiritually edifying for me and I'm grateful for serving in the YW program...even though 98% of the time I feel completely inadequate.

I am so grateful for my Savior and that he was resurrected for me and atoned for my sins! I love Him and I am grateful for this holiday that we have to think of Him and remember what He has done.

On Friday, to take advantage of Dave's day off, we spent a lot of the day in Jerome (about 30 mins. North of Prescott). It's an old mining town, so it's "haunted" (ooooooh), and it's such an old, cute, fun little town in the mountains. We ate at a little old place called the Haunted Hamburger and though it was crowded and we waited forever for our food, the food was great. It was a fun day, just for the fact that it was something different from the norm.

Josh is starting to talk now (kind of). He will say mama if I ask him, and dada, and perhaps the cutest is when he says "Hi." It's ADORABLE.

The boys with their Easter baskets, before the eggs.


Dave leading the kids in the direction of the eggs (he had just changed the oil in the car, hence the jumpsuit).



Josh in his permanent place on the lawn.

Staring to cry because he wanted to move...

Chewing on his Easter elephant.

Sam on our new ottoman/coffee table/chest.

Josh at the Haunted Hamburger.