WARNING: This post makes frequent mention of the male reproductive organ and the body part it's "housed" in. :)
Josh had his urology appointment in Phoenix this afternoon for his retractile testicles problem (for more info refer to the post about Josh a few more down). It went okay. We didn't really get anywhere new, but basically the urologist isn't concerned because they can feel them and know where they are and can get them down, so he wants us to keep an eye on them for the next six months and if there's no change, we will come back then and go from there.
The only thing they can do is surgery to bring them down and then they fix them permanently in the sack so that they can't "escape" back up. He said we could get it now if we want to, but (and he's also the surgeon) that he isn't really concerned at this point and if it were his own child, he wouldn't do the surgery yet. And as Josh's mom, I don't feel good about it now either. I want to do whatever is best for Joshua and I don't want to jump to any rash actions and cause more trauma to the testicles if he doesn't really need it. So I feel content about waiting.
Dave, however, doesn't know how he feels. He is a little more concerned because of his own history. He had the same problem when he was Josh's age and they kept waiting and waiting, until finally, at the age of three, they fully descended on their own. Then when he was sixteen he got testicular cancer and though they will never know the real cause of it, they said that issue could have been why.
But Dr. Chang (the urologist) said it is highly unlikely that a testicle can get cancer from a retractile problem, since it can spend some of the time in the sack. However, there is speculation out there that if it was a testicle that didn't descend at all for a long time, then because of the extra heat of being up inside the body for so long, cancer could probably form (though they really don't know). So since Josh's are just retractile and can come down, he feels it's highly unlikely. Also, he says they would never let it get to the point where Josh is still having this problem when he's three, like Dave did. He said by that age they should be spending all or most of their time down, and that they would never let it get that far with Josh.
He said they usually like to keep tabs on and check back with the kids that have retractile testicles about every six months to a year, so we decided to take his advice and watch it for the time being. We made an appointment for six months from now to come back and check it further.
Earlier in the appointment the NP said that usually if they haven't fully descended by this age (19 months), they probably won't on their own...but then the doctor says to wait. So I don't know what to think.
I don't really see how that much will change in six months, honestly, especially because over the last year nothing has changed and 98% of the time they are up. But he is the professional so we feel inclined just to kind of take his word for it and wait. And since the idea of jumping into surgery right now feels all wrong to me, I'm okay with that.
We are staying with the Stewarts over this weekend and Dave has a training all week this next week here in Phoenix so I decided to stay here with him, with the kids of course, and use it as a sort of "get away." Plus, I really don't like not having him home, and lately, with the way I've been feeling, being alone all week with the kids is the last thing I want. So we are staying in a suite at the Residence Inn all week and Dave won't have to come back to an empty hotel room every night after his training...and he's pretty happy about that (and no, he's not just saying that). :)
One thing we need to do before the baby is born is buy a new vehicle...which we decided will be a van because that just makes the most logical sense. We don't want to have to buy another vehicle for a long time, so we want one that we can have as we expand our family (yes, I said "expand our family"...even though the idea of baring anymore children after this makes me want to rip my hair out). We don't want to buy a new one because of the cost, but the used one we get we want to be newer, if possible. We really like the Siennas, but we know they can be a little pricey, so we need to start shopping around. I got some great websites and advice about car shopping from my all-knowing brother-in-law, Mike, so I will start there.
Another reason I want to make a jump on it is because we want to go to Colorado for Thanksgiving and spending 28+ hours in our tiny Saturn in my "condition" makes me...well...let's just say I'd rather sit alone in Bagdad while my family has fun in Colorado without me. And that's saying A LOT.
This pregnancy has been really difficult for me, and I thought after my last one it couldn't get worse. But I was SO wrong. I already had spine/lower back problems before I got pregnant and they warned me before I had kids that my pregnancies would be extremely difficult because of it, but I had no idea it would hurt this much and effect the way I feel this much. Every step I take is like torture. And with every step, everything down there--spine, tail bone, pelvis--shifts and grinds together, leaving me with a popping sensation at every movement. I can even hear it when I walk if it's quiet. :)
I also have another problem that's pretty miserable, and also embarrassing, but unfortunately it's a problem that a handful of women get, called varicose veins. And no, I don't mean in my legs. I won't go into detail. If you're really that curious, look it up or ask a doctor. :)
I had these problems when I was pregnant with Josh but they didn't surface until my third trimester, near the end. This time, however, the symptoms started showing when I hit my 19-20 week mark...and by now, 23 weeks, I feel worse than I did at week 39 with Josh. On top of looking and feeling huge, I feel like this baby should already be coming out of me...but in depressing reality, I actually have almost half my pregnancy to go. Ugh. And there's NOTHING they can do about these issues. Not even a chiropractor will help, except for temporary relief, because with one slight movement of me or the baby, or even the baby just growing, everything can be thrown out again. Icing myself is a good temporary relief too, but again it's temporary. As soon as I'm on my feet again, which is all the time, it's as though I never iced.
So if you see me waddling it's because every step is stiff and painful...not because I had an "accident." :)
And back to the car thing: just driving to Prescott (1.5 hours away) effects it so badly that for the whole next day I'm "feeling it" (along with numerous contractions...which hadn't started at this point with Josh either). We drove three hours to Phoenix today and right now pain shoots all throughout my back (and other areas) with every breath. Soooo...driving in our tiny, cramped, uncomfortable Saturn for hours and hours on end is something that I don't want to do.
It's also something my doctor doesn't recommend. Heck, my doctor recommends I keep my feet elevated most of the day, but I have two kids so that's impossible. Anyway, so if we can purchase a van by then, I would love it. That way, I'd have leg room to move my legs and feet when we are driving and I can shift positions by reclining, etc. So when we get back from Phoenix next week...the vehicle search begins!!
And now that I've complained, I have to plug that I really am grateful for this baby and this pregnancy. I really do have a lot to be grateful for. The baby is totally healthy so far, from what they can see, and besides the way I feel and the affect pregnancy has on my body, I have really great, smooth pregnancies. So I am definitely grateful for that, and grateful to be expanding our family with another beautiful baby boy. He is in constant movement inside of me, it seems, and I already love him so much. So, these sacrifices, minor in the grand scheme of things, are SO worth it. The pregnancy, and all the junk that goes along with it, is temporary!! (A constant reminder)
And that's all folks!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Kids Say the Darndest Things...
Sam's Funnies:
"Dad, I'm a white guy." (Said loudly in the middle of the passing of the sacrament in church yesterday...when it was silent)
"We're home now Grandma, so I don't want you to talk to me anymore, bye." (He'd been talking to Grandma Coltharp on the phone while we were driving and when we pulled into our driveway, he interrupted their conversation with this)
"Mom, will you go in your room so you don't see me playing with the hose outside?" (Because he thinks I'm stupid...)
"Dad, I'm a white guy." (Said loudly in the middle of the passing of the sacrament in church yesterday...when it was silent)
"We're home now Grandma, so I don't want you to talk to me anymore, bye." (He'd been talking to Grandma Coltharp on the phone while we were driving and when we pulled into our driveway, he interrupted their conversation with this)
"Mom, will you go in your room so you don't see me playing with the hose outside?" (Because he thinks I'm stupid...)
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Sam's First Testimony
Today there was hardly anyone at church due to Labor Day weekend, which meant testimony meeting was a little slow. During the awkward silence, when no one was getting up, Sam decided he wanted to bear his testimony (after seeing his friend, Daniel, do it). Basically, we learned our son is a natural speaker and has no problem getting up to speak in front of people, and to our surprise, as soon as he got to the microphone, he just started talking up a storm, bearing his testimony of goldfish and his brother going to time-out, etc. I can't remember it all because, frankly, I was a little embarrassed (anyone there probably knows that because my face was SO red!), but here's the gist of it:
Anyway, he went on and on, and the reason I was embarrassed is because we all know a testimony meeting isn't a talent show for our children and Dave was just letting him go on and on because he was laughing too hard to stop him. So amidst laughing and being the proudest mom for thinking I have the cutest kid alive, I was thinking "wrap it up!"
Then finally Dave leaned down and Sam finished with loving Jesus and Heavenly Father and his family. Anyway, it was just adorable and I was so proud of my son, who just seems to be a natural-born speaker. Hopefully that doesn't mean he will be a politician....
Good morning everyone! (copying what Daniel said) My name is Sam! And I just ate goldfishies, but Daddy had to take brother to time out, and I read books...
Anyway, he went on and on, and the reason I was embarrassed is because we all know a testimony meeting isn't a talent show for our children and Dave was just letting him go on and on because he was laughing too hard to stop him. So amidst laughing and being the proudest mom for thinking I have the cutest kid alive, I was thinking "wrap it up!"
Then finally Dave leaned down and Sam finished with loving Jesus and Heavenly Father and his family. Anyway, it was just adorable and I was so proud of my son, who just seems to be a natural-born speaker. Hopefully that doesn't mean he will be a politician....
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Reunited and it feels so good...
I decided I was going to get back into the routine of blogging again like I used to, not just updating bits here and there with months in between. And I figured the first step is to redo my layout and update everything else on my page that hasn't been updated in a year! Yes, I know it's early for Halloween layouts, but I love Halloween and I love Fall and I didn't have the patience to wait! Besides, the black kitty on the layout looks like the new addition to our family, Bauer. I put a picture of her on this post (it's not great, but it's the best I got at this point), because I thought it was fitting with my new layout. :)
I have to admit that part of the reason I feel the desire to spend time on my blog today is that Dave took the boys to Prescott and left me alone for the first time in FOREVER (or it feels like forever...really it's just been many months). WOO HOO! I have to say that since I never get to be at home alone, I am loving the peace, quiet, and solitude. I got to take a shower and actually get ready afterward without kids getting into all the bathroom stuff and feeling rushed, I got to prepare my lesson for church tomorrow without ANY INTERRUPTIONS, and I get to sit here and play on the computer. I thought I'd use this alone time to write or work on my query letter, but I just didn't feel like it, which is surprising.
I realized too that in my blogging absence, I haven't posted anything about my pregnancy at all! So here's a rundown: I am 21 weeks along and we found out 2 weeks ago that we are having our THIRD BOY (Due 1/11/11)! And wow...I'm not going to lie; I was holding out for that girl that I know is out there somewhere, and I was definitely a little disappointed. It's hard to explain, because I wasn't sad about the boy, or depressed by any means...I was happy about it, but at the same time disappointed, if that makes any sense. But I am really excited to have another little guy because I love my boys so much, and though I will be even more out-numbered than now (4 against 1), I have to admit I love that. I actually will love being the only chic...for now. And I love that my boys can be the Three Amigos and be close. Another big plus is that we already have all the boy stuff (even though I was looking forward to buying all the girlie stuff...)! So, yes I know there is a girl out there and I will get her some day, but right now I am so excited to meet this little guy!
He moves like CRAZY. I swear, he never stops. He moves more than either Sam or Josh moved, and I thought Sam moved a lot! My pregnancy is going well, considering. I do have pretty horrible back issues that flare up at the end of my pregnancies and, unfortunately, already started flaring up halfway through with this one. I have many other issues of pain down there, and even experience contractions quite often already, too, but really, other than being stiff and miserable most of the time (I say most because I'm trying to be positive...hehe), it's going extremely well and I can only feel blessed. So far, everything is going the way it's supposed to and everything is at the right size and in the right place. I'm just excited to get this little guy out of me and start the addition to our family!
A thing I struggle with, especially lately for some reason (probably those darned pregnancy hormones) is self-esteem because of what pregnancy does to your body...and I feel like it's just torn me apart and left me with a distorted body and flabby...well...everything. But I've been really trying to place all the expectations of society and the media aside and accept that having a baby has actually made me more beautiful. I have given live to three of God's children and what is more beautiful than that?
I tell you that nothing is. I feel so privileged and special to be blessed with these wonderful spirits and to have been able to nurture them and bond with them, that I wouldn't trade the best body in the world for this. After all, this is why we are on this earth as women, right--to bear God's children. And what a blessing it is! I don't take it for granted at all...
Not even when I'm laying lifeless on the couch because I can't move as the kids trash the house around me. It's all about sacrifice, right? My kids better thank me some day for all I go through to bring them into the world... ;)
There have been a lot of things going on around us, a lot of unfortunate circumstances with friends, or health problems with friends and family that really have us looking at life differently, and it's hard not to get down. It's hard not to ever think, "I'm done having kids after this, because why would I want to bring children into this unforgiving world???" But unfortunately, this is life, and though I question with "why does this happen to this person" a lot, there is nothing we can do about it and we will never have all the answers. All we can do is get through this life like intended, prove ourselves and strive for faith--which at a lot of times feels non-existent, I admit.
But even in all these things happening around us and to us, and through all the wavering, I do love my Heavenly Father and this gospel, and am so appreciative to Him and our Savior. I don't get it sometimes, I don't have answers, but I do have to strive to have faith and know that He is at the helm--no matter how bleak. I am SO extremely blessed, and I pray I will never lose sight of that. I have the most wonderful husband and children I could have ever asked for, a family I never before thought I deserved. We are healthy and well (for the most part) and provided for in so many ways. I am grateful everyday for the blessings we have and how fortunate we really are.
And to anyone who I might have been cold to or offended at all, I am truly sorry. I'm not always the best kind of friend and don't always have the best things to say (or even know what to say in general sometimes), but I do love you all and you each have made an impact on my life that I will never forget.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
More on Josh
A quick update on Josh: A woman from Arizona Early Intervention program came by to do an assessment on Joshua. Not only did she ask me questions (she had a questionnaire she was filling out), but she also gave Josh certain toys to test different abilities and interacted with him. The results were that he is low in the communication area (as we expected), but average or high in every other area. Right off the bat, that isn't enough to enroll him in their evaluation/therapy program, because even his low communication score wasn't at its lowest. But based on the fact that he can't make a variety of vowel or consonant sounds (basically all he can do is "dada" type of sounds), she can put him in. It's a concern to her, but not a grave concern.
So my options were to get him going in the process, or to wait a few more months and see how he progresses. I felt best to wait at this point. She is going to send me some information on what I can be doing with him to help and a 22 month evaluation questionnaire, and in 3 months if I feel he hasn't made any progress at all, I will call her and they'll get the evaluation process going.
It is possible that with his speech and communication abilities being so low, he has a slow speech developmental issue, but it might be too early to tell. I'm not really that worried about it. He has a big brother who is bossy, overbearing, and extremely vocal, so in my opinion, he just might not feel the need to talk yet. So we will see. Hopefully in the next few months he shows signs of progression.
On the up side, he is very smart in other areas...smarter than I thought! I'm glad she came out here because it helped me realized how advanced he actually is. He understands a lot of what we are saying, but it's just hard to tell because he doesn't verbalize any of it. One of the toys he was playing with, she said he took the time to figure it out, and then understood it, and she said that in that sense, he's at a two-year-old level. Most 18-month-olds can't do it yet. Also, she showed him a book with sets of pictures and asked him to point to a certain thing (a ball, or a flower, etc.), and he got every one right! It surprised me, because I had NO idea he knew what all those things were! So I am very relieved to know that at least he is picking up on things and knowing what they are.
As far as the children's urologist (his testicles), he has an appointment with them down in Phoenix next weekend, so I will give updates on that then!
So my options were to get him going in the process, or to wait a few more months and see how he progresses. I felt best to wait at this point. She is going to send me some information on what I can be doing with him to help and a 22 month evaluation questionnaire, and in 3 months if I feel he hasn't made any progress at all, I will call her and they'll get the evaluation process going.
It is possible that with his speech and communication abilities being so low, he has a slow speech developmental issue, but it might be too early to tell. I'm not really that worried about it. He has a big brother who is bossy, overbearing, and extremely vocal, so in my opinion, he just might not feel the need to talk yet. So we will see. Hopefully in the next few months he shows signs of progression.
On the up side, he is very smart in other areas...smarter than I thought! I'm glad she came out here because it helped me realized how advanced he actually is. He understands a lot of what we are saying, but it's just hard to tell because he doesn't verbalize any of it. One of the toys he was playing with, she said he took the time to figure it out, and then understood it, and she said that in that sense, he's at a two-year-old level. Most 18-month-olds can't do it yet. Also, she showed him a book with sets of pictures and asked him to point to a certain thing (a ball, or a flower, etc.), and he got every one right! It surprised me, because I had NO idea he knew what all those things were! So I am very relieved to know that at least he is picking up on things and knowing what they are.
As far as the children's urologist (his testicles), he has an appointment with them down in Phoenix next weekend, so I will give updates on that then!
Friday, August 20, 2010
Josh Update
Josh had his 18-month checkup yesterday and here are some stats:
He is in the 50th percentile for height and only the 5th for weight...but he is healthy and eats and is doing really well, so she isn't concerned. He's just a tiny guy.
We are going to be waiting for a call from the Phoenix Children's Hospital Urologists to make an appointment to take him down there to look at his testicles (sorry if you're reading this when you're older and I'm totally embarrassing you, Josh) because they are "retractile" (haven't fully descended). Not looking forward to that, and praying everything is alright and it's an easy fix.
*I just have to add another side note about how much I LOVE living in Bagdad and being so far away from everything.
Also, we (well, mostly Dave) have been concerned for a while because Josh doesn't EVER talk. He still just makes baby noises and grunts and stuff. The only word he can say is "dada" and when I tell him to say "cheese," he will imitate the sound. But he can't (I haven't figured out if it's can't or won't yet) say anything else and if we get him to try, he just gets frustrated. He doesn't even do the sounds of animals ("What does a doggy say?" etc.). He just does a baby grunt that sounds the same for everything.
However, I can tell he understands me and picks up on all the things I am teaching him. And the doctor isn't worried about him being slow or having any mental disabilities or anything. He just might have a speech problem. Ugh.
And what we don't know at this point is if it's just his personality or if he really does have a problem. He is pretty laid back about things (100% opposite of his brother) and it could just be that he has no desire to do these things, but the dr. is still concerned. She said that by 18 months, babies should be able to say at least 10-20 words or recognizable animal sounds, etc. Josh does one. That's it.
And we only have Sam to compare him to, who learned at a remarkable rate and by 18 months was already counting to 10 and saying most of the alphabet and colors. Sam has always loved learning and would love to spend all his day having me teach him things, read, do math, or watching Your Baby Can Read! videos. And then we have Josh who has NO interest in anything intellectual. He'd rather be playing or torturing the cat than sitting in front of any learning videos, and when I try to read to him, he gets bored and tries to get off my lap.
So it could be his personality, but either way...that kind of worries us. A group called Arizona Early Intervention is going to be calling us to come out here and meet with Joshua. They are going to be doing little tests and stuff to see if he actually has a problem. If he does, he is going to need to see a speech therapist. Again, yay.
Either way, things will work out and we will get it taken care of. Of course as a parent, I'm naturally a little concerned. I just want the best for my kids and no one wants their kid to have problems. But I do know it'll work out, and other than the hassle it's going to be, I'm not TOO worried.
I'll keep everyone updated.
He is in the 50th percentile for height and only the 5th for weight...but he is healthy and eats and is doing really well, so she isn't concerned. He's just a tiny guy.
We are going to be waiting for a call from the Phoenix Children's Hospital Urologists to make an appointment to take him down there to look at his testicles (sorry if you're reading this when you're older and I'm totally embarrassing you, Josh) because they are "retractile" (haven't fully descended). Not looking forward to that, and praying everything is alright and it's an easy fix.
*I just have to add another side note about how much I LOVE living in Bagdad and being so far away from everything.
Also, we (well, mostly Dave) have been concerned for a while because Josh doesn't EVER talk. He still just makes baby noises and grunts and stuff. The only word he can say is "dada" and when I tell him to say "cheese," he will imitate the sound. But he can't (I haven't figured out if it's can't or won't yet) say anything else and if we get him to try, he just gets frustrated. He doesn't even do the sounds of animals ("What does a doggy say?" etc.). He just does a baby grunt that sounds the same for everything.
However, I can tell he understands me and picks up on all the things I am teaching him. And the doctor isn't worried about him being slow or having any mental disabilities or anything. He just might have a speech problem. Ugh.
And what we don't know at this point is if it's just his personality or if he really does have a problem. He is pretty laid back about things (100% opposite of his brother) and it could just be that he has no desire to do these things, but the dr. is still concerned. She said that by 18 months, babies should be able to say at least 10-20 words or recognizable animal sounds, etc. Josh does one. That's it.
And we only have Sam to compare him to, who learned at a remarkable rate and by 18 months was already counting to 10 and saying most of the alphabet and colors. Sam has always loved learning and would love to spend all his day having me teach him things, read, do math, or watching Your Baby Can Read! videos. And then we have Josh who has NO interest in anything intellectual. He'd rather be playing or torturing the cat than sitting in front of any learning videos, and when I try to read to him, he gets bored and tries to get off my lap.
So it could be his personality, but either way...that kind of worries us. A group called Arizona Early Intervention is going to be calling us to come out here and meet with Joshua. They are going to be doing little tests and stuff to see if he actually has a problem. If he does, he is going to need to see a speech therapist. Again, yay.
Either way, things will work out and we will get it taken care of. Of course as a parent, I'm naturally a little concerned. I just want the best for my kids and no one wants their kid to have problems. But I do know it'll work out, and other than the hassle it's going to be, I'm not TOO worried.
I'll keep everyone updated.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
A New Hate For Scorpions
I never blog anymore, but I figured I should record this story. I think everyone knows about what happened to Joshua, but here are more details for anyone interested. Here's how our day went yesterday...
Josh and Sam had gotten into the food storage cabinet and were climbing around inside, taking stuff out, playing, etc. I know I should have stopped them right there, but they weren't hurting anything and I was busy (how many time do we think that as moms?). Then Sam had to go #2, so I went with him into the bathroom and before I could wipe him, Josh let out a cry of pain from the kitchen--the kind where you KNOW something is wrong.
So I ran in there and he was bawling and flexing his fingers and holding his hand and I immediately thought he got bit by something, but I looked around and didn't see any bugs, so I held him and comforted him for a few minutes. But nothing I did was calming him down (actually, he was crying harder with each minute) and not only was he flexing his hand and rubbing it, but now he was rubbing at his upper arm. That was when I decided he HAD to have gotten bitten by something. So after I checked the rest of his body, I moved around the packets of evaporated milk on the floor and there it was, hiding beneath--a small brown/clear scorpian (the smaller they are, the more concentrated the poison).
I immediately started panicking inside because I know nothing about scorpian stings, so I called Dave and he came home, but he wasn't too worried as he checked Josh out because he'd heard that scorpian stings were on the same level of a wasp sting (Guess he didn't know much either). While I called the doctor and ER (no one knew anything, by the way), Dave tried comforting him, but Josh only wanted me, so he stood in the middle of the floor, crying his head off and holding his hand while I felt like inflicting pain on myself for not being able to comfort him.
Anyway, Dave called a friend at work who is also an EMT in Bagdad and he said the last 3 kids in town that have gotten stung have had to be life-flighted out of town...so by then we were a little more nervous (Okay, I was FREAKING out inside). Then to make it worse, he started shaking really bad and that was when we took him to the clinic.
Right as we walked into the clinic, Josh was now violently shaking (and still frantically crying). The life-line guys came in and while they called in the helicopter, they (along with the nurse and doctor at the clinic) put a line in him and gave him valume (spelling?) to calm him down (after taking FOREVER to get it in him). I sat there holding him, trying with everything in me not to cry, and failing miserably as my baby thrashed around in my arms. And nothing was working. On top of his convulsions, which they told us were normal and that he was just freaking out because of the pain, he was starting to have breathing problems--which they also told us was okay and normal. But how do I feel okay when he can hardly cry because he is wheezing and gasping for breath???
Anyway, way too long later, the helicopter arrived while I was at home with Sam gathering all our things so I could drive down to Phoenix (Dave flew in the helicopter with them; I couldn't because I am pregnant). Becuase of his small size and age (I think), they were directed to fly him to Phx Children's Hopital, rather than to the hospital in Prescott. During all this, I don't think I have ever been more scared for either of my children before. I was an absolute emotional mess, and no matter how many times I reitterated in my head their words that this was normal and that he'd be fine, I couldn't shake the doom inside and the fact that I wasn't with my baby during this time. So amidst my frantic packing and driving, I had uncontrolable tears and constant prayers that Heavenly Father wouldn't take my baby from me now. Usually I'm able to see the logic and convince myself of the reality that everything will be fine, even through my fear and love for my kids, but that was a foreign ability and I lacked whatever faith I needed that told me he was going to be fine.
Come to find out later, while I was prayng my guts out and freaking out on the drive, fruitlessly trying to convince myself that he was fine in the helicopter with Dave, he actually wasn't fine. They realized that the IV line they so messily "placed" in him at the clinic wasn't really in him at all (or in the right spot), so all the medication they gave him didn't even penetrate that whole time. ONE MORE reason I don't want to touch the clinic with a ten foot pole. So before they could take off, they had to properly place the line, which also took some time.
By this time, Joshua was convulsing pretty horribly, making even my calm-mannered, logical husband freak out. But a few minutes later, once in the air, he calmed down a little bit. He still convulsed though, even with the meds, becuase they explained that on someone as small as him, the scorpian poison attacks the muscular system, causing involuntary muscle spasms and making his eyes dart around. So even though he was calmer, his limbs were still in a spasm and his eyes all crazy.
They then got him to the hospital, where shortly after, the toxicologist told Dave they just so happen to have some new scorpian anti-venum that is still in testing stages and not approved by the FDA yet, but that if we don't give it to him, he could still be convulsing 24 hours from now, where as with the anti-venum, he could stop within 2 hours. So of course Dave signed off on it. And it just so happens they only had four vials of the anti-venum remaining--all of which Josh used, and it was JUST enough.
So by the time Josh had calmed down and the medication started to make a difference, he'd been having this reaction for over two hours (during which his heartrate was over 200). So he'd basically been having a siezure for two hours strait. The doctors were very concerned and classified his case as a class 4, which is the highest it can be. So needless to say, I wasn't worried for nothing. The bad feelings I was having the whole time were in fact legitimate, along with the horrible feeling Dave had the night before that something was going to happen.
I'm just glad I didn't know how bad it really was during this time becuase if I did, I'm sure I would have been so beside myself that I wouldn't have been able to drive. I was already enough of a mess as it was...just for the fact that I couldn't be with my baby.
So anyway, by the time I got there, he had JUST started to relax, but he was sooo tired and out of it and lethargic from all the medication, that he was just laying in Dave's arms. But regardless, as soon as he saw me he started crying and trying to reach for me, which made my heart lurch outside of my chest.
So after a long day of holding him (I didn't get to go pee for about five hours becuase he wouldn't let me put him down and I didn't want to leave him), they admitted us becuase even though the anti-venum removed all the poison from his system, they wanted to watch us over night to see if he got any residual side effects. Plus, his breathing wasn't at the levels they wanted it to be at, which they say was just from the congestion/cold he'd had all week, but they still had to make sure.
So after a long day and night of getting moved three times (and many ups and downs), they finally removed his oxygen tubes and we got to settle...and finally saw little bits of Joshua slowly return. Especially when he ate a whole crustables sandwhich from the cafeteria and drank a bunch of water and juice (he was STARVING). When we finally got him to sleep that night, he was so tuckered out and drugged up that he slept like a rock all through the night and never even flinched when the monitors kept beeping or when all the nurses came in to check him and the kid next to him.
Different story for me though. Unfortunately Dave couldn't stay with me, so he stayed at Brand and Tiffany Stewart's house (where Sam was). I tried sleeping on that fold-out chair next to Josh's crib, but couldn't get a single wink in all night. So instead I watched my angel of a baby sleeping soundly and pondered everything. This was such a wake-up call to me and I couldn't stop thanking Heavenly Father over and over again for His intervention and that we were so blessed.
The doctors told us that if it wasn't for the anti-venum, he would have been intibated (spelling again?) in the ICU that night, without a doubt. So that just makes me even more grateful. It makes me overwhelmed with gratitude that we have such a loving Heavenly Father who answers our prayers and who sent us to the right hospital, with just enough anti-venum left for Josh (it doesn't hurt that because it was a trial, the drug that will someday be $1000 per vial was free). I can't even think of where he would be right now had he not had it, or had we been flown to Prescott instead...where they didn't have it.
How grateful I am for the power of prayer and that the Lord so obviously does love us and provides a way! I am SO grateful for all the prayers we recieved and for everyone who kept their prayers and thoughts on my baby Josh! This was one of the scariest things that's happened in my life and I'm sure anyone who's had to see their child in that kind of state can agree with me. But we have been blessed and I felt the power of all the prayers!
Anyway, it was a long, grueling day and night, but this morning he was even more himself and doing great. Other than droopy eyes and still being pretty lethargic, he was normal again. So after a less grueling, but still annoying, morning/day, he was finally discharged.
And Dave and I both felt it was best in many ways if I stay here in the valley with Josh so that we are close by just in case we see any other strange side effects or something else happens and we have to bring him back--rather than being in the middle of nowhere again. Plus, that way Dave can go home and thuroughly clean the whole house and spray (he wouldn't be able to with the kids there) before we come home. We are going to make damn sure (excuse my language) that we don't see anymore scorpians in our home.
So Josh, Sam, and I are at the Stewarts' tonight and will be until this weekend when Dave can come get us again. It sucks being stranded and not being able to go home (especially when I feel so awful from pregnancy/lack of sleep), but there is nowhere I feel more at home besides my own house than at the Stewarts, and this is definitely the best choice--regardless of how badly I miss my husband and wish he was here. It is so hard for us to be apart right now, especially because we all need/want each other. I am so grateful for the Stewarts and their hospitality throughout all of this. Sam has been in heaven becuase Brand is his idol and he is just excited that we will be staying the whole week with them.
Josh was so cute when we first got here, too. He was so excited just to be out of the hospital so as soon as we walked in and he saw his brother playing with the keyboard and dancing, he jumped down and tried dancing with him. He looked like a drunk baby and fell a few times because of the drugs still in his system, but it made me soooo happy to see him happy.
I am just SO grateful for my children and this experience made me realize how deeply I would do ANYTHING for them. I am going to do everything in my power to make sure this never happens again and I know I can't always protect them every second of every day, but I can't help but want to wrap them up and never let go of them.
Anyway, it's been a long day and a half, and I need to go to bed. But through it all, I am overwhelmed with just how blessed we've been! Goodnight all!
Oh, and along with all our thanks, thank you to Bishop Johnson for stopping by the hospital and helping Dave give Josh a blessing. We are so grateful for your willingness to help...and for the fact that you just so happened to be so close! Another answer to our prayers!
Josh and Sam had gotten into the food storage cabinet and were climbing around inside, taking stuff out, playing, etc. I know I should have stopped them right there, but they weren't hurting anything and I was busy (how many time do we think that as moms?). Then Sam had to go #2, so I went with him into the bathroom and before I could wipe him, Josh let out a cry of pain from the kitchen--the kind where you KNOW something is wrong.
So I ran in there and he was bawling and flexing his fingers and holding his hand and I immediately thought he got bit by something, but I looked around and didn't see any bugs, so I held him and comforted him for a few minutes. But nothing I did was calming him down (actually, he was crying harder with each minute) and not only was he flexing his hand and rubbing it, but now he was rubbing at his upper arm. That was when I decided he HAD to have gotten bitten by something. So after I checked the rest of his body, I moved around the packets of evaporated milk on the floor and there it was, hiding beneath--a small brown/clear scorpian (the smaller they are, the more concentrated the poison).
I immediately started panicking inside because I know nothing about scorpian stings, so I called Dave and he came home, but he wasn't too worried as he checked Josh out because he'd heard that scorpian stings were on the same level of a wasp sting (Guess he didn't know much either). While I called the doctor and ER (no one knew anything, by the way), Dave tried comforting him, but Josh only wanted me, so he stood in the middle of the floor, crying his head off and holding his hand while I felt like inflicting pain on myself for not being able to comfort him.
Anyway, Dave called a friend at work who is also an EMT in Bagdad and he said the last 3 kids in town that have gotten stung have had to be life-flighted out of town...so by then we were a little more nervous (Okay, I was FREAKING out inside). Then to make it worse, he started shaking really bad and that was when we took him to the clinic.
Right as we walked into the clinic, Josh was now violently shaking (and still frantically crying). The life-line guys came in and while they called in the helicopter, they (along with the nurse and doctor at the clinic) put a line in him and gave him valume (spelling?) to calm him down (after taking FOREVER to get it in him). I sat there holding him, trying with everything in me not to cry, and failing miserably as my baby thrashed around in my arms. And nothing was working. On top of his convulsions, which they told us were normal and that he was just freaking out because of the pain, he was starting to have breathing problems--which they also told us was okay and normal. But how do I feel okay when he can hardly cry because he is wheezing and gasping for breath???
Anyway, way too long later, the helicopter arrived while I was at home with Sam gathering all our things so I could drive down to Phoenix (Dave flew in the helicopter with them; I couldn't because I am pregnant). Becuase of his small size and age (I think), they were directed to fly him to Phx Children's Hopital, rather than to the hospital in Prescott. During all this, I don't think I have ever been more scared for either of my children before. I was an absolute emotional mess, and no matter how many times I reitterated in my head their words that this was normal and that he'd be fine, I couldn't shake the doom inside and the fact that I wasn't with my baby during this time. So amidst my frantic packing and driving, I had uncontrolable tears and constant prayers that Heavenly Father wouldn't take my baby from me now. Usually I'm able to see the logic and convince myself of the reality that everything will be fine, even through my fear and love for my kids, but that was a foreign ability and I lacked whatever faith I needed that told me he was going to be fine.
Come to find out later, while I was prayng my guts out and freaking out on the drive, fruitlessly trying to convince myself that he was fine in the helicopter with Dave, he actually wasn't fine. They realized that the IV line they so messily "placed" in him at the clinic wasn't really in him at all (or in the right spot), so all the medication they gave him didn't even penetrate that whole time. ONE MORE reason I don't want to touch the clinic with a ten foot pole. So before they could take off, they had to properly place the line, which also took some time.
By this time, Joshua was convulsing pretty horribly, making even my calm-mannered, logical husband freak out. But a few minutes later, once in the air, he calmed down a little bit. He still convulsed though, even with the meds, becuase they explained that on someone as small as him, the scorpian poison attacks the muscular system, causing involuntary muscle spasms and making his eyes dart around. So even though he was calmer, his limbs were still in a spasm and his eyes all crazy.
They then got him to the hospital, where shortly after, the toxicologist told Dave they just so happen to have some new scorpian anti-venum that is still in testing stages and not approved by the FDA yet, but that if we don't give it to him, he could still be convulsing 24 hours from now, where as with the anti-venum, he could stop within 2 hours. So of course Dave signed off on it. And it just so happens they only had four vials of the anti-venum remaining--all of which Josh used, and it was JUST enough.
So by the time Josh had calmed down and the medication started to make a difference, he'd been having this reaction for over two hours (during which his heartrate was over 200). So he'd basically been having a siezure for two hours strait. The doctors were very concerned and classified his case as a class 4, which is the highest it can be. So needless to say, I wasn't worried for nothing. The bad feelings I was having the whole time were in fact legitimate, along with the horrible feeling Dave had the night before that something was going to happen.
I'm just glad I didn't know how bad it really was during this time becuase if I did, I'm sure I would have been so beside myself that I wouldn't have been able to drive. I was already enough of a mess as it was...just for the fact that I couldn't be with my baby.
So anyway, by the time I got there, he had JUST started to relax, but he was sooo tired and out of it and lethargic from all the medication, that he was just laying in Dave's arms. But regardless, as soon as he saw me he started crying and trying to reach for me, which made my heart lurch outside of my chest.
So after a long day of holding him (I didn't get to go pee for about five hours becuase he wouldn't let me put him down and I didn't want to leave him), they admitted us becuase even though the anti-venum removed all the poison from his system, they wanted to watch us over night to see if he got any residual side effects. Plus, his breathing wasn't at the levels they wanted it to be at, which they say was just from the congestion/cold he'd had all week, but they still had to make sure.
So after a long day and night of getting moved three times (and many ups and downs), they finally removed his oxygen tubes and we got to settle...and finally saw little bits of Joshua slowly return. Especially when he ate a whole crustables sandwhich from the cafeteria and drank a bunch of water and juice (he was STARVING). When we finally got him to sleep that night, he was so tuckered out and drugged up that he slept like a rock all through the night and never even flinched when the monitors kept beeping or when all the nurses came in to check him and the kid next to him.
Different story for me though. Unfortunately Dave couldn't stay with me, so he stayed at Brand and Tiffany Stewart's house (where Sam was). I tried sleeping on that fold-out chair next to Josh's crib, but couldn't get a single wink in all night. So instead I watched my angel of a baby sleeping soundly and pondered everything. This was such a wake-up call to me and I couldn't stop thanking Heavenly Father over and over again for His intervention and that we were so blessed.
The doctors told us that if it wasn't for the anti-venum, he would have been intibated (spelling again?) in the ICU that night, without a doubt. So that just makes me even more grateful. It makes me overwhelmed with gratitude that we have such a loving Heavenly Father who answers our prayers and who sent us to the right hospital, with just enough anti-venum left for Josh (it doesn't hurt that because it was a trial, the drug that will someday be $1000 per vial was free). I can't even think of where he would be right now had he not had it, or had we been flown to Prescott instead...where they didn't have it.
How grateful I am for the power of prayer and that the Lord so obviously does love us and provides a way! I am SO grateful for all the prayers we recieved and for everyone who kept their prayers and thoughts on my baby Josh! This was one of the scariest things that's happened in my life and I'm sure anyone who's had to see their child in that kind of state can agree with me. But we have been blessed and I felt the power of all the prayers!
Anyway, it was a long, grueling day and night, but this morning he was even more himself and doing great. Other than droopy eyes and still being pretty lethargic, he was normal again. So after a less grueling, but still annoying, morning/day, he was finally discharged.
And Dave and I both felt it was best in many ways if I stay here in the valley with Josh so that we are close by just in case we see any other strange side effects or something else happens and we have to bring him back--rather than being in the middle of nowhere again. Plus, that way Dave can go home and thuroughly clean the whole house and spray (he wouldn't be able to with the kids there) before we come home. We are going to make damn sure (excuse my language) that we don't see anymore scorpians in our home.
So Josh, Sam, and I are at the Stewarts' tonight and will be until this weekend when Dave can come get us again. It sucks being stranded and not being able to go home (especially when I feel so awful from pregnancy/lack of sleep), but there is nowhere I feel more at home besides my own house than at the Stewarts, and this is definitely the best choice--regardless of how badly I miss my husband and wish he was here. It is so hard for us to be apart right now, especially because we all need/want each other. I am so grateful for the Stewarts and their hospitality throughout all of this. Sam has been in heaven becuase Brand is his idol and he is just excited that we will be staying the whole week with them.
Josh was so cute when we first got here, too. He was so excited just to be out of the hospital so as soon as we walked in and he saw his brother playing with the keyboard and dancing, he jumped down and tried dancing with him. He looked like a drunk baby and fell a few times because of the drugs still in his system, but it made me soooo happy to see him happy.
I am just SO grateful for my children and this experience made me realize how deeply I would do ANYTHING for them. I am going to do everything in my power to make sure this never happens again and I know I can't always protect them every second of every day, but I can't help but want to wrap them up and never let go of them.
Anyway, it's been a long day and a half, and I need to go to bed. But through it all, I am overwhelmed with just how blessed we've been! Goodnight all!
Oh, and along with all our thanks, thank you to Bishop Johnson for stopping by the hospital and helping Dave give Josh a blessing. We are so grateful for your willingness to help...and for the fact that you just so happened to be so close! Another answer to our prayers!
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