Thursday, November 18, 2010

True Fact: Life Isn't Fair

Other than a couple big things (which I blogged about earlier), nothing huge has been going on here. Just little things, like my kids' allergies being the end of me. For the last few weeks, their allergies have been acting up like CRAZY (mostly Sam) and it has been a huge struggle every single night for us. In the last three weeks/month it's safe to say I have not slept solidly through the night. On average, Sam is waking up about 3 to 4 times a night, sometimes more (last night between the both of them it was 6 times in 7 hours). Not only is climbing in and out of bed on a continual basis painful for me, but it's extremely exhausting. Most days I feel like I'm in a dream state, where I don't know what's real and what's not, because as soon as I start to drift back to sleep and slip into a peaceful state, I am woken again by screaming or legs kicking the wall. Let's just say Sam doesn't handle the annoying itchy feeling in his nose very well, accompanied with constant running.

I have tried EVERYTHING, too. The only option left is to get an air purifier for their room, which we are doing this week. I have taken some awesome suggestions from friends/family, but so far, nothing works. Not even medicine like Benedryl or Claritan. I just wish Arizona would start cooling down already. It's so frustrating. Because I'm sure as soon as it does, and there are less allergens in the air, that will help. Winter come, PLEASE...for the sake of my sleep and sanity!!!

And you would think that after a while, you'd get used to the constant interrupted sleep, but you don't. Trust me. Your body never adjusts to being depleted. I know it sounds completely dramatic, but I really don't know how much longer it can go on like this...especially when I'm already run down and starving for sleep as a pregnant mom. And I realized in two months, when Lucas comes, I will be up all night with him (hoping not, but just going off of the way both Sam and Josh were as newborns...) and then what? What if Sam and Josh (again, mainly Sam) aren't better by then? Do I just say "screw sleep" in general and stay awake all night? Because that's how it will be. I just PRAY, harder than I did with Josh and Sam, that Luke will be a good newborn, a good eater, and a good sleeper. Because I have yet to know what that feels like.

But even if he IS like Josh and wants to eat 3 times throughout the night, even that isn't as bad as how much I'm waking up now. Balance, please!

Anyway, enough of my complaining...on that subject. I apologize to everyone who ever talks to me lately, because I know it's probably all I do. I try to be positive, I really do. Sometimes I just feel like the horrible way I feel physically (not just with exhaustion, but all the other pregnancy pains and contractions), puts a blanket over everything else and it's almost impossible to see anything through it sometimes.

But speaking of positive things! (Wait, were we?) Tomorrow we start our 15 hour trek to Colorado!!! Yay! I can't even express how thrilled I am. Even the uncomfortable car ride is worth it. It's been almost a year since we've been there as a family (and since we've seen the Meyers gang) and it's way overdue. I am so excited to see family and for Josh to bond with the family he hardly knows. Arizona is too far away and we are both (Dave and I) looking forward to this break. Now, I just pray me and the kids have good health. Usually (actually, every time) when we travel, at least one of us is sick...usually the kids. Dave had the horrible stomach flu yesterday and I am HOPING me and the boys are in the clear.

Now...back to the negative. Sorry. Have to talk about it. But I'll try to make it sound as upbeat as possible. Here we go. I am so thrilled that our NEW van was the victim of a hit-and-run last weekend! There's nothing like a good, solid roadblock to put things into perspective! When I walked out of Walmart and into the parking lot and saw the back of my van bashed in, I wanted to jump up and down with glee! Even better, they still haven't found the woman who did it, and most likely, we will be paying our $500 deductible to get it fixed...out of our pocket! I'm so glad we could do that for this woman who almost ran down the witnesses as she sped away and has made it impossible for the cops to find her! Merry Christmas, criminal woman, from our wallet your mistake!

Okay, I can't fake it anymore. It really does suck. Especially around the holidays. The damage doesn't actually look that bad, but the handle hardly works and the whole tailgate will end up having to be replaced. Which of course will definitely be more than the deductible. I talked to the police yesterday and he had a couple more addresses to follow up on, but come to find out, the woman is also a main suspect in some other criminal investigation. Go figure. So either she sped away to avoid that, she was drunk, or she doesn't have insurance. We are betting at this point that it's all three. It's not looking so good. Would someone like that really have insurance?

After talking to the insurance company, they informed us they will do everything to get what they can out of her, but we have to think realistically. This is life and as we all know, life isn't fair. So after a good, peaceful night, when I finally felt sane with the world, I make the mistake of going to Walmart to buy Dave's Christmas present (legally parked, mind you), and now we have the fortunate blessing of forking out $500 to pay for something we didn't do. On our new vehicle.

*Deep breaths* Okay, I'm done complaining. I promise. I really am aware of all the many amazing blessings in our life, because I know we have COUNTLESS to be grateful for, but sometimes you just gotta vent about the not-so-great things in life, too.

Ending on a positive note. During stake conference last Sunday (which I heard not a single word of, by the way), Sam told me my hair was "beautiful, like Cinderella." :) I didn't even know he knew who Cinderella was. Nothing like the sweet words of a child to brighten your mood.

1 comment:

Angela said...

Hi Jennie, I just read this, and the hugest thing I have to say is: what a huge blessing all these trials are going to be for you, because there's no way for you to avoid becoming stronger & wiser from all these trials. That is, unless you lay down and give up, and you quite obviously haven't shown any indication of that! You're so strong, keep it up Jennie :) Just the fact that you keep getting up in the night with your boys and you're about to have another baby, and are completely sleep deprived...aaagh. You're amazing. It will all pay off in HUGE ways, but I'm sure you know that!