"Not Me!"

Ah, the "Not Me!" Ghost.

I always love when it comes to visit.

I grew up on Family Circus comics. And the "Not Me!" ghost was always one of my favs, even as a little kid. And until I was a mom, I never realized just how true to life it was.

And you think the "Not Me!" ghost is sneaky with just one kid? Well, it's even more cunning with two.

When I was cooking dinner last night, the three kids were in the family room watching a Brainy Baby video, being quiet and wonderful in the process. Then, all the sudden, Luke started crying out of nowhere. He's teething and, well...he's Luke, so I thought nothing of it. He cries like that quite often if I'm not holding him.

So, with my hands all slicked up in raw hamburger, I continued to labor away stuff the manicotti shells, quickening my pace so I could silence the piercing, damaging-to-your-eardrum screaming come to his rescue.

Fifteen minutes went by, and he was still crying. Of course. I felt bad, but it's Luke. And I had to make dinner. I have to earn my way around here somehow.

When I finally had dinner in the oven, the counter washed off, and my hands washed, I rushed into the family room.

And I felt horrible.

Luke was covered in water, from head to toes, drenching everything and even running down his back. And he'd been sitting that way in his bouncer seat for the past fifteen minutes.

Immediately, I looked to Sam and Josh with narrow eyes, the both of them standing back with arms behind their backs and pleasant looks on their faces. That was when I noticed empty sippy cups. Then water all over the couch, and floor, too.

Luke was still screaming during my assessment, so I picked up my soaking baby, dried him off a little, and snuggled him (feeling bad for not coming to his rescue sooner), and then the questioning started.


Me: Who did this?
Sam: Josh. Josh did it!
Me: Josh, did you do it?
Josh (shaking his head): No!
Me: Did you pour water on your baby brother, and all over the family room?
Josh (shaking his head): No.
Me: Sam, no lying. Tell me the truth. Did you do this?
Sam: No, Mom, it wasn't me. It was Josh. He did it.
Me: So am I to believe it was some mysterious ghost? I'm not stupid. There's water everywhere and you two are the only ones in here. One of you did it. I'm giving you both one last chance to tell the truth. One. Last. Chance. Sam, did you do it?
Sam: No.
Me: Josh, did you do it?
Josh: No, Mommy. No pour water, baby.
Me (looking around for the "Not Me!" ghost, shrugging his shoulders and running from the room): Fine. Then you will BOTH go to time out.


Damn that "Not Me!" ghost. He got me again. And those poor kids had to suffer for it.