Well, I have been wanting to take some time to update the blog but this has been the first chance I have had all week! Unfortunately, Sam is sick...yet again! It has been getting really tiring and I am starting to wonder if he has some sort of immune system problem or something. Yes, there are a TON of viruses that seem to be going around in this tiny town the last few months, and every time he gets sick, it's a virus I know is going around, but each time he gets it, he gets it so bad! It doesn't seem like anyone elses kids in this town (please let me know if I am wrong!) get sick as often as he does, or as harsh as he does. It drives me crazy that every time he gets sick EVERYTHING gets put on hold for at least a whole week. Every virus he gets causes him to have a high fever for the whole week and he is so miserable that all I can do is sit on the couch with him all day because he's so needy and sick and grumpy and miserable. I love my couch and everything but I can't even begin to describe how incredibly sick of it I have been the last few months! It seems like when he does finally move past the viruses he gets, he will only have a week or 2 break before he gets the next one. I mean, is that normal?? And of course, this was the week I had a HUGE list of stuff I wanted to accomplish to get ready for the baby and the only productive thing I have been able to do this week has been laundry...and I'm still doing it! It's very frustrating. I just really hope I don't have this baby too early and haven't been able to be prepared the way I feel I need to be.
Another thing that worries me is after I have the baby is Sam still going to be getting sick all the time like this??? Or will the cold/flu season be ending?? It makes me not want to take him to nursery or anything!! It stresses me out incredibly thinking about dealing with this all the time and a newborn baby, that he could possibly pass it to. Anyway, it just doesn't seem normal, and if any of the other mothers in this town have any input, I'd appreciate it (am I alone in how often and how bad Sam always gets sick?).
Last night was especially fun...Not only was Sam waking up every single hour, on the hour, throughout the night, but at about 3am he threw up all over himself in his bed. I felt so bad for him. Poor guy. I had to wake up Dave that time because the sheets needed to be changed and Sam needed to be bathed and I can't bend over the bath tub or the crib anymore. It was such a long night and it wouldn't be such a big deal if when I got back in bed I could fall back asleep right away, but it takes me FOREVER to get comfortable again, so the way it works is I will finally start to fall asleep and then he wakes up again. It makes for a long tiring day ahead. The last few days too, for some reason, I have been so consumed with this baby that's coming soon, and being completely prepared, that that's all I ever think about! All I think about is getting all the stuff on my checklist done before he comes, what else I'm missing, refreshing my brain on all the breastfeeding info (not just basics, but EVERYTHING!) so I can try and make sure it doesn't go wrong again this time, etc. And the bad thing is, the time my mind is the most active is in the middle of the night for some reason. I can be in a deep sleep and wake up with Sam and then go back to bed and all the sudden my mind is thinking more deeply than it has all day and I can't relax.
*SIGH* Because that's what I need to do...relax. I need to just calm down and realize if things aren't completely ready when Joshua comes, it's OK. Things will work out and having him is the most important thing! And as far as breast feeding....I REALLY need to calm down about that one. Because the last thing I want to do is stress out over it again like I did the first time. But luckily, I know a lot more this time, so I don't think it will be as difficult. At least I know what to do and what not to do at the hospital to start him off right.
Luckily I have a husband who is very understanding and helpful...my problem is, I have a hard time asking for help. Even with him...and I shouldn't. One thing I want to do before Joshua comes is deep clean the house...I mean, like REALLY well. And when I told Dave that last night he told me no way. So I'm sure this weekend he will start and help me when he can, but if I have free time during the day the next couple weeks, whether I feel like I can't even stand or not, I'm not going to be able to hold back. I guess you can call it the nesting instinct. :)
I'm so glad I only have 2-3 weeks left though. Every single day gets harder and harder for me, physically. I'm in so much pain and every little action I make causes contraction after contraction...and even just standing up hurts! I'm just so ready!!
Okay, I think I got all the complaining out. Sorry about the negativity of this post...I just had to vent. My next few posts will not be this way, I promise!